Monday, April 5, 2010

I had so many writing ideas racing through my head while in the shower, after which I pumped no grey water, nor did I have to unclog the drain of my hair. Wait a minute.. could it be? Has my hair stopped falling out? By god, I think I'm happy!

Well, I'm happy as I can be. I've been quite reflective these past few days, particularly today, as I continued the Easter riding tradition and rode from Dana Point to San Pedro. I still stand by the belief that time does not heal all, rather forces you to sink or swim. It doesn't matter how much time passes, it hurts just as much today as it ever did, but I've become accustomed to it's presence. It's like the ugly carpet you just can't get rid of. You're usually quite adept at ignoring it, but sometimes you're sitting there, sipping on that day's precious first cup of coffee, staring at this carpet, reliving every little step, newcastle splatter, tear droplet, digging your nails into the ceramic, clenching your teeth and wondering how the hell everything got so fucked up, and why the weren't you consulted?

Aaannnnd then you realize the past is past, and that's all it will ever be, and add "carpet cleaner" to your grocery list. Anyway. Enough carpet allegory. (Is that even allegory, or just metaphor? Oh well, it sounded good at the time).

Soooo boat life. Oh wow, boat life. I feel very fortunate. My crew mates are all beautiful brilliant misfits in their own sailor ways. All of us are so different, yet so very much the same. I am terribly fond of them all, and even feel that I've found a kindred spirit brooding about. It's a comfort to be around like-minded people, and I think on some level we all need each other for much more than just keeping the ship afloat.

I'm only a week into it, but I know I've made the right decision. This is the closest to "home" I have felt in years. But it's definitely work and the relentless pessimist in me is just waiting for the day I start to dread getting out of bed in the morning.

In other news, I get to sleep naked tonight, and that is glorious!

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